The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
