Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Who died my cat blue again?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
