you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
