ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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