i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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