theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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