Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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