So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
