That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
