if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My ass is underappreciated
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
