I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Come see our sink grown plant.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
