i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
