mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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