glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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