You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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