im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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