# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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