just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
