We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
