When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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