well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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