i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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