This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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