A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
