You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
