Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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