smell my finger.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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