ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize