I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
