No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
