I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
