check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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