so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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