i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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