I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
