Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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