i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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