just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
