She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
