I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
