it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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