using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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