is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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