shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
