Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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