You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
whose parrot is this?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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