I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
