You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
