Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
