its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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