Please, let me fuck your mom
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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